I don’t want to be awake again,
I spend my days with my head in my hands.
If I go outside I’ll fall apart.
I am mostly scared of passing time,
the world it seems gets more unkind.
Inevitable tragedy will soon be mine.
I am looking for an easy place,
to mask my thoughts behind my face.
Oh brown baked column of victory.
Maybe I should just pack up and run away again,
and let you forget that you where once my friend.
Then watch another go on and do better without me.
But I could not go away, not if I wanted to.
I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you.
These chemical reactions are dividing me.
Self-deprecating thoughts are interrupting all the time,
emphasizing all the traits that I wish weren’t mine.
They speak louder than everybody
I try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn’t bright,
compulsively complaining when I haven’t got the right.
I hate the way that I think and act.
I want to end reality but I feel hesitant,
optimistic that the future will be more concerned than the present,
and so for today I’ll remain intact.